A Yummy Mummy Date

*Taylor is probably the best dating experience I have had since becoming a single parent.

It wasn’t a great grand love – but it was lovely. And I can honestly say that I entered it with a smile on my face and left it with a smile on my face.

I still remember sitting across the table from him on our first date in nice pub, looking at his smiling face thinking ‘you are just such a nice guy’. That first date was one of the best I had had. My son, *Noah was at a sleepover and I pulled out my phone to send a text to check all was ok, there was no issue (texting others on a first date, especially at dinner is a no no). He asked me enough about myself to understand my situation but not so much that he pried, he asked enough about Noah to show an interest but not so much that he seemed like he was keener on the aspect of me having a child rather than me.

We spent time together and I really enjoyed his company. He never once asked me to meet Noah ( I don’t think this is a criticism he seemed to understand that I would do things in my own time and he was patient). Taylor is an avid sportsman and professional athlete so always was eager to hear about Noah’s soccer games and used to joke around that he would manage Noah’s career when he becomes a soccer star – but always in a lighthearted way with no seriousness to it.

Taylor had a good balance of understanding and support when it came to Noah. If we were on the phone and Noah needed something he would say, go do what you need to and we will chat later. If I didn’t have a babysitter that night, it was never an issue and he understood. He just got it. There are so many parts that make me Jacqui and some days the mum part comes first and some days the other parts do. One thing to always remember is that god made women very special. We have the capabilities to love in the most extraordinary way – to love one child or five if we choose to have them, to love our parents, our siblings, our friends, our lovers. The same way mums always manage to find a little bit of something in the cupboard when unexpected guests drop in – there is always more than enough room in a woman’s heart – especially a mothers heart – to love both her children and a man who is not their biological father.

I also asked Taylor some questions about Noah back when we were dating. I asked him if he had ever wanted to meet Noah and his answer was, “No that’s not my decision to make.” I changed the question to “If I had asked you to meet Noah would you?” his answer was “Maybe, yes, sure. But it wasn’t my call, that’s your decision if you want that to happen.”

I felt a little relieved at this. I had wondered whether he just had no interest in a future but now I realise whether he does or doesn’t, hes letting me decide that in my own time on my own terms. And that is exactly what I believe every single mum wants. Some of us get there fast, some of us get there slow, but as they are our children we want it done on our terms. That’s not to say that we don’t consider how our partner may feel and take that on board, but his acceptance, support and understanding, is what has made Taylor the best experience since becoming a single parent.

Can You Put A Price On Dignity?

There are many things you can lose in a break up. Some possessions, a beloved pet, money and not to mention your heart. But if I can stress anything to you, it is don’t, under any circumstances, lose yourself.

It has often taken many of us years to know who we really are and it can take just one shattering break up to completely lose that girl in one foul swoop. It was my own dance with dignity that prompted me to blog this particular subject, and in particular a little form of my own revenge. I decided to take a leaf from Emily Thorne and get a little of my own back after a broken heart and lots of lies. Without going into detail, it may have involved a little bit of email hacking and the spreading of a false STD rumour (I however felt I was performing a valuable community service informing selected women that had slept with my boyfriend that an STD check was warranted).

I will admit that initially I felt some vindication with my revenge and somehow I was able to justify my retribution to myself. But it only took a very short time for me to look at myself and think “what the hell?” Who was this person who had always held her head up high and could say with honesty that she was a good person? And ultimately what good came of my payback? We didn’t get back together, I didn’t get an apology and in all honesty I probably looked pathetic.

Pride and self-respect are two things, I believe, we cannot survive without. After two shattering heart breaks I learned, and the very hard way I might add, that no good can come from knowing. It is so impossibly hard to walk away from a relationship or be told an excuse for the break up to avoid the conversation. You can go searching for answers, dig up dirt or facebook stalk all you like – but trust me when I say that whatever it is you find will never give you the closure you are looking for. All it will give you is a whole pile of hurt.

So girls here’s my advice, instead of turning into a woman possessed, with detective skills worthy of an FBI Commendation, get off facebook, grab your closest girlfriends and hit the town. Show that man what hes really missing; and in the meantime your pride and self-respect wont go walkabout.

Hola!

I have been busily planning with much enthusiasm my next overseas holiday. Never mind the fact that I just returned from my most recent trip a little over a week ago!

I spent ten days cruising around the South Pacific with three fabulous girls! A great time was had by all and upon my return the questions asked of my travels were not “Did you have a great time? How were the islands, What was the food like?” The question asked was “How did four women cope with each other in a tiny cabin for ten days?”

I have to laugh at this question, it makes me think what do other people think women are really about? I can honestly say that these three lovely ladies and I had the best holiday. There was not so much as sideways glance, a snappy comment or a claw come out during our trip – bearing in mind we had only one power point in our cabin to accommodate four women, two hair straighteners, a hair dryer and a curling iron.

I am grateful I have such gorgeous girlfriends that turned my holiday into a relaxing, fun-filled trip and made me impatient for my next getaway … if only my credit card could say the same thing!